You can't special order awesome
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
