Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize