The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
