he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
