I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
