this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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