She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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