I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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