sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize