So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
