We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
