On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
