Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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