you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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