can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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