i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
