Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
