hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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