dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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