He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
