OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
