Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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