i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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