The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So many bounce houses so little time
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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