so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
