We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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