But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
