If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
