Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
