The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
