please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
