It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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