new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i dont even know how to be here
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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