the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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