im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
