I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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