I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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