Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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