is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize