She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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