Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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