Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
