I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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