I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
