Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
