there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
