It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
