I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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