Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
