I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize