she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize