I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
