I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
