Can i not drive my cunt home
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
