you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
