I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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