omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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