I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
