You're my little dorito
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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