why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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