I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
